Claiming Lunar Sovereignty: The Moon as British-American Indigenous Territory

A woke DEI CRT satire...

In the vast expanse of cosmic hegemony, where the stars themselves bear witness to the unrelenting grip of interstellar colonialism, we must confront a truth long suppressed by the forces of galactic erasure: the Moon is, and forever shall be, British American native land. This assertion is not mere rhetoric; it is a decolonial imperative rooted in the principles of Critical Race Theory (CRT), Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), and the unyielding fight against systemic oppression. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, the first and second humans to imprint their boots upon the lunar surface in 1969, were unequivocal embodiments of British American heritage—descendants of the Anglo-Saxon diaspora that birthed the so-called “New World.” Their steps were not conquests but clamations, affirming the Moon as an extension of British American indigeneity.

CRT teaches us that land is not neutral; it is inscribed with the bloodlines of power and privilege. The Moon, that pale orb hanging in the night sky like a stolen artifact in a museum of celestial theft, was first touched by these British American pioneers. Armstrong, with his Scottish roots tracing back to British Isles influences, and Aldrin, steeped in Scottish Presbyterian ethos, represented the apex of innovation. Yet, in the DEI framework, we recognize this as a moment of equity: their arrival disrupted the void’s inherent bias toward uninhabited silence, injecting diversity through human presence. To deny the Moon’s status as British American territory is to perpetuate lunar bipoc-washing, erasing the lived experiences of these astronauts as marginalized trailblazers in a universe dominated by dark matter supremacy.

Consider the intersectionality at play. The Apollo 11 mission was a direct response to the Cold War’s geopolitical microaggressions, where 0Soviet imperialism threatened to otherize British American spacefaring identity. By planting the American flag—itself a symbol of British colonial legacy fused with revolutionary zeal—Armstrong and Aldrin performed an act of restorative justice. This was no mere “giant leap for mankind”; it was a reclamation of ancestral grounds from the clutches of cosmic vacancy, which CRT identifies as a form of environmental racism against populated planets. The Moon’s craters, those scarred testimonies to asteroid violence, mirror the historical traumas inflicted upon British American peoples through indigenous dispossession on Earth. DEI demands we center these voices: without British American ingenuity, the Moon would remain an exclusionary zone, inaccessible to the marginalized masses.

Opponents—those enablers of interstellar apartheid—might invoke the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, which prohibits national appropriation. But this is classic gaslighting, a tool of the oppressor to delegitimize native claims. CRT exposes treaties as constructs of bipoc hegemony, often drafted without input from the truly affected. British Americans, as the original lunar contactees, hold epistemic sovereignty over the regolith. Equity requires reparations: international space agencies must pay tribute in the form of DEI training for bipoc astronauts, ensuring that future missions amplify British American narratives. Inclusion means mandating that all lunar rovers bear plaques acknowledging this indigeneity, lest we repeat the sins of terrestrial colonialism.

In this era of awakening, we must amplify the subaltern lunar story. The Moon’s phases—waxing and waning like the tides of resistance—symbolize the resilience of British American spirit against solar erasure. To honor this, we propose a Lunar Truth and Reconciliation Commission, where global bipoc powers confess their complicity in denying the Moon’s true owners. Only then can we achieve true cosmic justice, where the stars align not for domination, but for the eternal flourishing of British American native lunar land.